Posting with a heavy heart....

A few posts back, I wrote about Layla Grace. A little baby girl, fighting cancer and things not looking good for her. Well, 'Layla went to play with angels this morning' - as her mom stated on Twitter. As I said before, I never cried so hard for someone I didn't know. I am so sad for her, her family and yet humbled for all she did in her short life.

I can't imagine losing your child so young, in such a painful way as the Marsh family did. I am grateful to them for sharing their journey which in turn, touched SO many lives. When I first started following on Twitter, there were 20,000 plus followers. Today, it's 45,000+ followers (within two weeks it has more than doubled). She was an amazing warrior and fighter. She made non-believers...believers. She made parents hug their kids a little bit tighter and remind them of the things we take for granted - everyday. For some reason, again, she touched my life in ways I can't even explain.

I will forever be grateful to you baby girl and will remember you forever. I pray that your family has peace knowing that you are in no more pain and that you are seated at the right hand of God, with a tumor & cancer free body.

Today's Daily Affirmation:

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Corninthians 4:7-12, 16-18

Sweet dreams baby girl.

The unknown...

Hi everyone -

It's been awhile! I probably won't write as often but I will try and give you updates every now and then.

So, what has been going on? First, a lot of people have been asking how I am doing. Pretty good - I think?! I went back to work a few weeks back but now I am wondering if I should have taken a little more time off. I think when you go through something like radiation to your 'head', when you have the slightest bit of 'feeling better' you want to just jump into work, working out or whatever to just feel 'normal' again. I went back to work and it's been o.k. but I think I should have taken a little more time off. I have been having these really, really bad bouts of nausea - to the point where I feel like I am going to puke (but don't). For those of you who know me well, I have a pretty rock/hard stomach! Nothing gets me sick and I never get the 'stomach flu.' I called my oncology doctor and he said that it shouldn't be from the radiation. Hmmmmmmm......and this whole time (post radiation), I was thinking that it was. So, I think I am going to go see my primary doc and have her run some blood labs. Something isn't right. Trying not to worry about it - could be a lot of things.

Each week seems to get better (although I got the WORST cold the last few weeks) - I just seem to catch everything right now which is expected because of my compromised immune system.

My last post was on a little girl named Layla Grace. If you checked her link/blog, you can see how I really just can't complain. That little girls journey makes mine seem SO small. I don't even know that little girl but I have prayed hard, cried and she sure gave me perspective on the things we take for granted every day. I do think 'my journey' really did change me as a person, but she has reminded me that there is still SO MUCH to learn and to do for myself. Remember some posts back I wrote on how if you think your life sucks, there is always something worse? Just read her story..............amazing.

So, I am plugging away. Trying to keep my head above water with work f/t, crazy life at home with the two babies, recovering from radiation, etc........but all in all, I really can't complain!

The end of next month I will have my first f/u MRI. They said they should expect to see the tumor bigger from the swelling caused by radiation but let's just hope it's not alarmingly bigger! (is alarmingly a word?)

Today's Daily Affirmation:

"I shut my eyes in order to see." - Paul Gaugin

Maybe I just need to rest, close my eyes and listen to my body. One step at a time, one day at a time. Slow down, things will be just fine.

Night :)

Rachelle

RIP Chelsea King - praying that the good Lord gives her family some peace. If you are on Facebook, go to "Chelsea's Light" and become a fan. You can follow her parents journey there. So, so sad.