The unknown...

Hi everyone -

It's been awhile! I probably won't write as often but I will try and give you updates every now and then.

So, what has been going on? First, a lot of people have been asking how I am doing. Pretty good - I think?! I went back to work a few weeks back but now I am wondering if I should have taken a little more time off. I think when you go through something like radiation to your 'head', when you have the slightest bit of 'feeling better' you want to just jump into work, working out or whatever to just feel 'normal' again. I went back to work and it's been o.k. but I think I should have taken a little more time off. I have been having these really, really bad bouts of nausea - to the point where I feel like I am going to puke (but don't). For those of you who know me well, I have a pretty rock/hard stomach! Nothing gets me sick and I never get the 'stomach flu.' I called my oncology doctor and he said that it shouldn't be from the radiation. Hmmmmmmm......and this whole time (post radiation), I was thinking that it was. So, I think I am going to go see my primary doc and have her run some blood labs. Something isn't right. Trying not to worry about it - could be a lot of things.

Each week seems to get better (although I got the WORST cold the last few weeks) - I just seem to catch everything right now which is expected because of my compromised immune system.

My last post was on a little girl named Layla Grace. If you checked her link/blog, you can see how I really just can't complain. That little girls journey makes mine seem SO small. I don't even know that little girl but I have prayed hard, cried and she sure gave me perspective on the things we take for granted every day. I do think 'my journey' really did change me as a person, but she has reminded me that there is still SO MUCH to learn and to do for myself. Remember some posts back I wrote on how if you think your life sucks, there is always something worse? Just read her story..............amazing.

So, I am plugging away. Trying to keep my head above water with work f/t, crazy life at home with the two babies, recovering from radiation, etc........but all in all, I really can't complain!

The end of next month I will have my first f/u MRI. They said they should expect to see the tumor bigger from the swelling caused by radiation but let's just hope it's not alarmingly bigger! (is alarmingly a word?)

Today's Daily Affirmation:

"I shut my eyes in order to see." - Paul Gaugin

Maybe I just need to rest, close my eyes and listen to my body. One step at a time, one day at a time. Slow down, things will be just fine.

Night :)

Rachelle

RIP Chelsea King - praying that the good Lord gives her family some peace. If you are on Facebook, go to "Chelsea's Light" and become a fan. You can follow her parents journey there. So, so sad.