The road to ???

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Just so busy these days - where do I even find the time to do anything else w/two little ones running around! :)

I talked to the VP of Sharp. We spoke for a little while about 'my' Sharp experience (ha ha - you will get that if you live in San Diego........I am always seeing (TV) and hearing (radio) about the "Sharp experience" being the bomb). After explaining what I had to do to get the right treatment for my brain tumor, he immediately apologized and said, "We failed you" and "that never should have happened." It was hard to talk to him because I had to kind of NOT sound so P.O.'d beyond belief because then they just won't listen to you if you are.......I think I sounded pretty sincere with all I had to say and again, I reiterated that this should NOT happen to another patient with my diagnosis. He agreed that if Sharp doctors were recommending that procedure, I should not have had to go through the denials, retain an attorney, file an appeal with the state, etc... He told me that he was going to speak with those that dealt w/my situation and that things in the future should be handled differently. After awhile, he said he 'had to go' and that he appreciate my letter and input. Then the call was over.

After that, I sat there and could only think - hmmmmmmmmmm, I wonder what will happen after this. Nothing? Will he follow-up with those that dealt w/my case? He did sound sincere at times so I am hoping he does. I guess the only way to make sure he does is to follow-up with another letter to him! I will thank him for his time and ask him what he has done since our conversation. After that, I really don't think I can do anymore. I guess time will tell but I guess I can only tell myself that I tried - really tried.

I called my Oncologist and told him what was up. He said that they would certainly follow-up too w/Sharp and see what's going on. And right now is the perfect time. Sharp is in the process of putting together plans for a new cancer center in Southbay - so, they really need to get on board with this and the new technology out there. I am hoping it happens - not for me, but for others who are or will be going through what I did.

I think I will follow-up too with Cyberknife, Inc. and see if there is anything they can do.

In the meantime, I feel o.k. Still have that ringing in my ear and a few days ago, my right eye felt heavy (and still does). I don't know how many times I have run to the mirror and 'smiled, winked, etc..' to see if I am having another palsey episode. I feel something but my face looks somewhat equal on each side......I guess.

There is a referral request in right now for me to see my awesome neurosurgeon. I think it will be denied because he is no longer with Sharp. I am hoping when it comes across their desk, they will see my lovely name and fall over trying to reach for the 'approved' stamp quick enough! Ha ha....I guess I have to laugh a little now about that (smile).

If not, I will wait one more month. We just did our benefits at work and in a month, I will officially have a PPO!!!! YEA!!! Yes, it's like I bought a car but the peace of mind that comes with it is soooooooooooooo worth it. My neuro doc only takes that PPO so if, God forbide, I need surgery after my MRI in October - I don't have to ask anyone if I can see him. It's already taken care of.

Boring post...........I don't have my 'writers cap' on tonight. Tired and going to jump in bed here soon.

I hope everyone out there is doing great! Can't wait for a long, holiday weekend!!!!

Today's Daily Affirmation:

"I do not fear failure. I only fear the "slowing up" of the engine inside of me which is pounding, saying, "Keep going, someone must be on top, why not you."" - General George S. Patton

I think I am a little bugged that I feel like I am going to lose this battle. I guess I just need to be patient and listen to God - to see where this road goes. I still want to make a change for others who can't do it for themselves, but unfortunately, I have come to realize that the insurance industry is probably too much for this gal to take on. I am not saying I am giving up, but I will listen for God to direct me.

Have a GREAT 4th of July everyone!! God Bless our troops!!!!

Rachelle