One down, two to go!!!

Well, I survived my treatment. I am finally posting this. I have written this over hours now (a little here and there). I have been pretty tired all day but I know a lot of you have been anxiously waiting to see how it went so I need to update my loyal followers!! :)

I am posting some pix of my day so you can get a visual. Chris and I got there close to 7:45am, I met with my oncology/radiation doc (Dr. Damon Smith of Cyberknife SD....I mentioned him some posts back when I sent my appeal to the state. He was the doctor who I think 'sealed the deal' on my appeal. Not only did he give me a compelling clinical study to send with my paperwork, but his report stated that Cyberknife is the 'standard of care' for my tumor.) I REALLY like him - he is great!

So, he showed Chris and I how they 'mapped' out the radiation (see the pix with him pointing to the computer screen). The Cyberknife 'robotic arm' will zap my head in about 183 (?) different angles. The AMAZING thing about this (because I was so worried about moving) is that it shoots a quick xray prior to the 'zap' and if you have moved, the 'arm' adjusts to your movement - making this treatment within 'millimeter' accurate! WOW! Then Dr. Sanjay Ghosh showed up (he is the neurosurgeon doc who originally told me to go to Stanford, get an opinion and then he wrote a report on how he recommended Cyberknife and so did ALL the physicians at the Senta Clinic...remember that? That was like gold for my appeal too!) :) They both said they were happy to hear that I won my appeal.. :) Dr. Ghosh went over the critical areas of my brain and how those areas will get such 'low' dosages of radiation. I was really worried about my brainstem (constant/high radiation to that area can mimick stroke like symptoms, thought processing problems, etc..). He said that was extremely low. Good to know! They both said that the 'mapping' of my radiation was very clear and mapped out great. ALL of that info made me feel great right before I was ready to start treatments. (see the pix of both Dr. Smith on the left and Dr. Ghosh on the right).

Side effects: Fatigued (after each day, it will get worse) and they said that at the post-2 week follow up, the main symptoms are fatigue still (minimal to severe...depends). Headaches can be common and some irritability/skin sensitive to the areas of my head getting radiated. I can also lose 'patches' of hair but he said it's very uncommon. He crossed off the 'brain swelling and death' for the 'severe' side effects....saying 'You don't need to worry about that.' :)

So, into the 'room' and there I see the mask on the area where you lay. So, I told myself, 'this mask is my friend..it's purpose is to keep my head very still to provide accuracy of treatment.' Suddenly it wasn't too bad...went into a 'little' freakout mode when they first put the mask on then snapped it on tight. I kept telling myself - 'mind over matter' .....this is a piece of cake compared to all the other crap I have had to deal with this last year! Plus, there are WORSE things going on in this world - look at the poor people in Haiti! :( I am finally here so BRING IT ON! :) After they first put it on and then secured it, the tech started some really soothing 'spa' type of music........then they shut the 'vault like' door and it began! OH! I also brought that awesome 'prayer quilt' with me and I felt surrounded by love and prayers! :)

When you are laying on the bed, you can see through the 'mesh' mask and there is this beautiful pix of this sky with a tree and leaves on the ceiling. So, I focused on one part of the tree and just stared at it - THE WHOLE TIME. I figured that would keep my head from not moving. So, I stared and I focused on my babies, the soothing music, my husband, all the support and love from ALL of you, bible scriptures, etc.... I didn't feel a thing the whole time except after about 30-40 minutes ( I am guessing), my knees starting hurting (they put that pillow under your knees) and then my finger was bothering me from the pulse-ox monitor they put on your finger. Other than that, not too bad! :)

The machine (see pix) is a robotic arm that moves around and it looks like there is a big 'eye' on the end of the arm. That 'eye' will come around my head at different angles, and then I will hear a 'beep/buzz' like noise when the radiation is being done. The whole thing was kind of surreal.....I kept thinking, "Am I really here? Getting Cyberknife? No more fights with my insurance co.? I am getting radiation to my head? - it was weird, I can't explain it. Luckily I only did that for about a minute and then it was like, "Focus on just getting through this!"

So, I hear everything shut down , the big door opens and it's done! One down, two to go. Dr. Smith said everything went as planned and that it went a little faster because I didn't move (and yes, I really don't think I moved AT ALL!). So, now I await treatment #2. At least I know what to expect.

Came home and just laid around. I was tired but not until about an hour or two passed that I was much more tired. Took a little nap but then got a headache so I just laid around and took it easy. Around dinner time my head kind of felt in a 'fog'.....going to bed early tonight. If I can describe it best, it feels like I have a hangover! But, I didn't have a 'fun night' of anything getting it! :) Drank lots of water and going to get a good night rest for tomorrow!!

Today's Daily Affirmation:

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult undertaking which, more than anything else, will determine its successful outcome.” - William James

Looking forward to crossing off #2! THANKS TO EVERYONE for your texts, emails, call, etc.... You keep me going!! :) :)

Hugs!
Rachelle